Greener Pastures

I received a job offer this week. One that I’m kind of skeptical about. Its working with children that are autistic. While normally I love working in this field. I can’t help but feel somewhat overwhelmed over my new position. My past employments have been similar to this one. But something about this place leaves me with an uneasy feeling in my stomach. Like I shouldn’t be there. Have you ever walked into a place and thought. Hmm… this is different and not in a good way?

When I first moved to San Antonio I began working in a facility for the elderly. Within a few months I saw the difference between a great Nursing facility and a shady one. Long story short I only made it a couple of months before filing a complaint against the facility and put in my resignation. I’ve been through a few jobs since I’ve moved here. I normally tell people that I’m finding my place in San Antonio as my husband expands his firm. This task has been a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. Given I’ve learned that SA is somewhat cliquish. Everyone stays in there own corner and plays by themselves and the people that they have known their entire life. You have no idea how many times this small town girl has said excuse me, thank you, please and been looked at in horror or just simply dismissed. City life is not for me folks. My husband on the other hand loves it. He doesn’t like that small town nosy vibe. I love it! Not the nosy vibe, but to walk into a place and everyone know who you are and is willing to cut the shit with you. I miss it. But this move was a must. There was more opportunity for us here as a family. So my husband and I made the decision to leave our families behind and make a new adventure for ourselves.

Upon moving I worked at a few places. First at a nursing home, than I worked at a Pre-Kindergarten. I gave one of the local In-Home-Health agencies a try but they would only give me twenty hours a week and I just couldn’t support myself on that. Then I landed a job working at this Day-Hab. (In which the name of the facility I will not enclose due to privacy issues) I had researched it, googled it, did my homework on it.  I was so excited, thrilled, couldn’t wait to start! I remember calling my husband excited after I had gotten the position! Sometimes I do feel like I made the mistake of leaving. My ex-class partner used to tell me when I would get frustrated with management and talk about quitting “the grass really isn’t greener on the other side. Think about it.” He was an older gentlemen in his mid-40’s who you could tell loved what he did. We grew really close. He reminded me of my best friend from back home and I assumed I reminded him of his sister who passed away a few years ago. I think we would have been the same age. We never discussed this out loud but you could tell he thought about her a lot when we would talk. I am always amused with the the people I come across when I begin working somewhere new. (But that’s a whole other blog on its on!) I enjoyed spending my work hours along side my students, working with them, laughing with them, learning with them. Just an everyday routine we had made for ourselves. You can tell some of them needed some sort of routine or just simply acceptance from someone who cared. I didn’t mind being that person in their everyday life. They had spent their whole lives in these group homes that didn’t pride themselves on one on one care with these guys. You could always tell who needed you the most on specific days.

When I left my past employment my husband warned me. “Now babe you can’t just keep jumping from job to job just because you don’t like the management. People are going to be shitty no matter where you go. You are there to provide a service, you do the best you can and you go on with your day. There’s no point in getting all your feathers ruffled up over people who don’t take their job seriously like you do. My husband only thinks he knows me.. Actually my husband does know me. He knows how I am. And knows that there really is a lot of shitty people out there and I am probably one of the few who actually has compassion for what I do.

I have always had a passion to care for others.  I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t taking care of someone or something. As to this new adventure that I am about to embark on. It’s a career that I am eager to learn and grow in. I am scared and anxious as to how this is going to impact the next few months. So follow me as I go through all the training and procedures that the facility requires and maybe this will be where and what I do to find my place here in San Antonio.


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