Sometimes I get asked why I believe in God. A God. This God that I have never seen before or touched before. A God that I have no physical proof of. the Only proof I have is from men who used to be great sinners, thief’s, liars, murders, womanizer’s and cheaters. Men who deserved nothing but death because of actions they had committed in their life. How do you explain a God that forgives all these horrific actions? Who cleans slates of undeserving people like myself?
I choose to believe in God. I choose to believe in the one and only God, a maker, a designer of things, an artist of beautiful landscape, a friend, a companion, a shoulder to cry on. I choose to believe in Gods purpose to use his one and only son as a sacrifice so that we could obtain forgiveness thru him. So that we could freely accept the grace that is his love. I choose to believe in God because I would rather believe in something that brings comfort and satisfaction in my short and replaceable life. I would rather believe in someone who is perfect in all ways. In the thought that someone is better than myself. That there is someone who is kind, loving, healer of all diseases. I choose to believe that there is still good in this world. With all the negative input in the world, all the chaos that is greed, hatred, war mungers, disturbance of peace, jealousy, power hogs, and revengeful attitudes. I want to believe that there is a purpose to my life, that he has me here for a reason other than to live day by day wondering when it will be my last. Wondering if there’s any kind of impact on this world that i can make. I choose to believe that I have a friend in heaven watching me, encouraging me, loving me unconditionally, protecting me and is waiting for the day when he can meet me in person.. I choose to believe in God because I am NOT perfect.
What happened to your fame?
That fame you so fondly chased.
Couldn’t find the satisfaction
Or the attraction
To keep me at ur side.
So you threw my soul away that I can no longer find.
Just keep in mind
The heart you broke isn’t so easy to unwind.
Unwind the time you stole
To fill the whole
That left me empty and hollow inside.
So I leave you with your fame
Because to me you have no name.
I stood there starring at you as you walked away.
Leaving me there to disintegrate,
Into the pile of ashes u left behind.
Not a single second glance was given.
Not even for a minute.
Left me there in the cold dark night to fend.
Pushing me away leaving me no where to bend.
Now I’m left here with all these memories.
That I can’t seem to erase.
Should have known better than to let you be my base.
How sturdy you turned out to be.
Because it Crumbled right under my feet.
Underestimating the landing
I let myself fall face first instead of on my feet.
But it seems it was never enough.
So u destroyed me not knowing how rough it would be.
To turn away from me.
Leaving me in the dark to make tough.
The sorrow just might
Give me another day to fight.
To mend my broken heart That u left behind.
23 The Lord makes firm the steps
of the one who delights in him;
24 though he may stumble, he will not fall,
for the Lord upholds him with his hand.
I see a person and I do not ask myself what flaws does this person have. What accusations, what stones can I throw at this person. But instead, wonder what paths , what detours has this person taken. What circumstances, what situations has made this person into who they are. When I look at someone that has made some not so wise choices, I place myself in their shoes for a minute. Step back and want to heal their pain. I want to share the love that the lord has abundantly given me. Because the truth of the matter is I believe in humanity. I believe that even though so many people are lost I believe that with the power of Christ we can bring humanity and hope back into this world.
I can almost hear it like a fairy tale tear.
How do i overcome this fear?
To take it and break it till it haunts me no more
To return it and burn it till it can no longer be tore
Find me a place to hide so that I can no longer fight to survive.
Till my hope to rejoice is no loner a lie
Find me o lord in this darkened place I have called home
Wipe away the fear so I can learn to move on.
Show me the way so that fear is no longer an issue to see what u see in ur creation.
To see the fascination
That u see in me for future recognition
What is fear?
Fear that i no longer have u near.
Have been up sense 3:30 this morning listening to the wind outside my window, to the strange noises that this apartment makes with it’s creaks and leaks and howling winds thru the cracks in the building. It’s not a run down place but it has it’s flaws.
I have tossed and turned, closed my eyes and attempted to fall back into a sleepless coma but my thoughts and restlessness of the night have taken over. Simba, my cat seems to not feel the same way as he continues to snore loudly almost mockingly right beside me. Probably dreaming of mice and how to scratch up my furniture. My solution to this cold and sleepless night? A pot of coffee and an update on my blog and to catch up on some readings of the subscribers that have started following me.
So an update on my recent adventures would have to include my crappy search for a new job, I hate job searching! With a passion, it’s almost like I would rather give blood than go job hunting. For some of you who didn’t know, I have a fear of needles. Just FYI so you can just wrap you’re head around just how much i really loath this. My unfinished career that I have yet to decide on what I even want to get my degree in. My responsibilities of being an adult that I try to forget about, and this new relationship I have somehow managed to become involved in… All this ranting and raving I have been doing on the single life only to find myself falling head over heels ( yes heels because he’s just that tall) for this guy that I have recently met. How ironic. All this and with the holidays fast approaching especially with the end of the year approaching my mind wanders to the possibilities of next year and my little girl squeals let out.